Weight loss challenge

My good friend Ruben and I joined the YMCA's weight loss challenge this past Friday. We were placed into teams of four and given workout schedules with weekly weigh ins. I'm already feeling changes in my behavior. I've been eating less and hit the gym for my hardest workout in months on Saturday. Tonight is my first workout with my team.

It's strange to reflect on my weight, because for most of my life (maybe the first 28 years) I wasn't overweight. I was always what you might refer to as borderline athletic. I wasn't a star in anything athletic related- but I could always run for a few miles, bench press over a couple hundred pounds and could defend myself decently in a fight against anyone I was likely to encounter. I could always stand to lose a few pounds or spend extra time in the gym, but I was reasonably content.

Now, I think I can still defend myself (given a big enough stick), but I don't think I'd make it running a few miles unless I was being chased by someone. I could lift a couple hundred pounds on the bench press, but my back would make me pay for each pound.


The truth is that I'm proud to have hit 20 minutes on the elliptical machine and ten minutes of swimming. It's a long way from where I used to be. But, the journey back is never impossible so long as I have breath and sufficient health. Hopefully, with the help of my team, I'll begin the trek back to good health.

Rays Law

Men are much more sentimental than women give us credit for being. We're just sentimental about stupid things. I may not remember the first conversation I had with my wife, but I'll never forget the first time that I saw my red mustang. It was half destroyed from a front end collision, but was absolutely beautiful.

A few bucks and several weeks later, it looked as good as new and I placed my personalized plate- ("Ray's Law") on the red mustang. It was the beginning of an adventure that lasted from law school to my second job as a prosecutor in the Imperial Valley.

The car was really too tiny for it's 6'2" gorilla of a driver, but somehow on weekend nights, it fit me and a zoo crew of friends as well. We'd drive to the worst (and most enjoyable) areas of Tijuana and Ray's Law was always quick to find us a parking spot or, occasionally, a quick exit.

The radio was always blasting good music- from Rock en Espanol to Marvin Gaye to Vicente Fernandez, the stereo knew no international boundaries. I once blasted country music while driving down Compton looking for some good barbeque.

With me as the driver, the car had it's share of accidents and breakdowns. Once it broke down in East LA at midnight as I was on my way to visit a friend. A couple of times, the car left us stranded in Tijuana- looking for a late night mechanical fix to bring it back across the border. There also was the time I rear ended a semi-truck..

Despite its sporty appearance, the mustang was never really the fastest vehicle. I would race with two other friends and would invariably end up in third place.

Yet, I still miss the car. My Tundra is more comfortable, practical, etc- but Ray's Law just doesn't seem to fit it as a personalized plate. It fit better as a motto for a car that followed it's own rules- never the fastest, but always reaching its destination in style.

Regarding Eddie

I have a friend who is a murderer. You would never have guessed it to look at him. He's kind of an overgrown kid, prone to nervous laughter and a fantastical view of the world. When I first met Eddie though another friend, he talked to me about the power of the mind. He said that I could use these self hypnosis tapes to improve everything in my life. I mumbled something about not being quite happy with mediocrity, but he made me take a tape back with me. Of course, I fell asleep listening to it. We kept in touch throughout the years- occasionally he would join my group of friends for a movie, a fishing trip or just a drink at someone's house. Eddie began to get increasingly involved in Eastern philosophy and would call me at work to read me some passage from the Dalai Lama, insisting that as a part Asian, this was my heritage. He'd try to talk to me and the other guys about the possibility of astral travel. We'd laugh at the idea of sending your spirit to travel around the world, but Eddie was always good natured about our reactions. He would just laugh along with us. His good nature was something that I always enjoyed about him.

So, how does this bring us to murder? To be honest, I'm not really sure. One day, Eddie started a relationship with a woman named Anna- a sweet woman that he saved from an abusive relationship. They dated for almost ten years- sometimes going out with my wife and I. Often, they would break up and Eddie would be despondent, but they always seemed to find their way back together. Eventually, they had a child together- a wonderfully messy boy that always seemed to have a face smeared with chocolate. On a couple occasions, I remember kicking the boy and the father out of my office for smearing chocolate across my furniture and wall. Eddie would laughingly apologize, then call me later with yet another quote from the Dalai Lama.

During Eddie's last breakup with Anna, he was living in a small room in a house near a park. He seemed to be the normal Eddie- doing well at his job in Albertson's as a meat cutter, enjoying the simple pleasures of an occasional movie and trying to spend as much time with his son as possible.

Then, one weekend, I received several calls from Eddie's mother. When I called her back, I found out that Eddie had been arrested for throwing Anna off a second story balcony, eventually killing her.

Due to confidentiality rules, I can't tell you what Eddie told me about the incident when I went to see him, but the San Diego Union ran a series of articles on Eddie and the incident.

All I can say is that it is tough for me to picture my friend behind bars. I keep expecting the phone to ring with another quote from Eddie on eastern philosophy.

Here's a quote that he probably would have liked:

"Whether one believes in a religion or not, and whether one believes in rebirth or not, there isn't anyone who doesn't appreciate kindness and compassion."