About Me

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chula vista, California
Random thoughts, some of them funny, from a San Diego divorce and criminal defense attorney, as he fights for his clients in Court, fights the battle of bulge and goes through life.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

A happy life




I was in Court the other day and the topic of depression came up. Opposing counsel, scoffing at my client's claims, said the following:

"Depression? I've been depressed for decades. Keep a bottle of pills in my suitcase." He had a smirk on his face, but his eyes avoided mine.

"You may need them after this case," I said in the spur of the moment. Then I went on to argue why my client deserved everything she was asking for.

Later on the words came back to me and a I reflected on how...well, how sad it is to be depressed for decades. It embarrassed me to think that I'll treat myself to a good lunch or a movie after a bad morning. I don't know how I'd react after a bad decade!

An ex-girlfriend used to say that I woke up every morning and thanked God that I was still me. She didn't exactly mean it as a compliment, but I do feel somewhat lucky to have the people that I do in my life.

If you know me, one of the things that you notice almost right away is how often I am smiling or laughing.

I do my best to enjoy my life and it saddens me to know that there are many people out there who can't, or for whatever reason, won't pursue their happiness with the same passion.

What's the secret to happiness? I think it's simply to find the things that you enjoy and to fill your life with them. Each day is filled with at least 16 waking hours- make sure that these hours are filled with people that you like and, to the extent possible, activities that you like. (Caveat: if you like hitting smiley lawyers in the gut, please don't!)

Don't let other people's standards apply to you. I have a very good friend that is happy driving the bus and watching tv. It's almost impossible to get him out of his routine.

As for me, I enjoy waking up to practice law. I enjoy being in Court and doing my best to solve what are usually the most important crisis in my client's lives (a divorce, an arrest...). I love the fact that I can work with my wife and I've surrounded myself with staff that I enjoy being around. Outside of work, I have a relatively close family and friends that have been close for so long that they are practically family.

How can you be happy (if you're not)? Thinking back to the times, events, people and activities that make you happy is a good start. As humans, we're not that complicated. If your favorite thing is riding your bike, do it as often as you can.

If you want a further tip, may I suggest doing something to make someone else happy. Sometimes helping others really is helping ourselves.

** afterthought ** I regret to say that I probably added to the depressed lawyer's bad decade- he didn't do well in Court. However, I did leave the Courtroom smiling...