We do what we can..

There's a Sheryl Crow song that always makes me think. Here are the lyrics:

Downstairs they're playing Kenton
The house set to swing
I lay in my bed
And listen to everything
Cause Leo's in rare form tonight
His trombone sings so sweet
This is the room
Where they all come to meet

He said
I do what I can
I live for the moment
And that's who I am
Yeah that's who I am

And isn't it good
If we could freeze moments in time
We all would
But I do what I can
I do what I can

Downstairs he's playing Kenton
The Magnavox sighs
But oh how the music has changed
In all of our lives
He says "nobody listens
To modern jazz"
And I'll never have what those guys have

He says
I do what I can
I work for a living
And that's who I am
Yeah that's who I am

And it's good to be alive
But everything's different since Leo died
I do what I can

Is this the end of the modern world
What could it mean for a young girl
Who sees the pain on his face
He does what he can

The procession on the TV screen
What could it possibly mean for a man
Who's come this far just to turn around
Could there still be life in Kenton's swing
With the Kennedys gone and everything
Those sad rows of houses with their optimistic colors
Democrat grandparents and draft-dodging brothers
Riots down the street and discontented mothers
We do what we can

Downstairs it's quiet
Less alive somehow
Somehow he was everything that I am now

And he says
I do what I can
I work for a living
And that's who I am
And that's who I am

But it's good to be alive
And these are the choices
We make to survive
You do what you can


The song makes me sad in a way that is difficult to explain. It makes me think about opportunities lost. We make choices to survive and bury our dreams. Sometimes these dreams haunt us late at night. We think, what if? I remember my dreams and sometimes it's painful to consider that their time has passed.

Sometimes I stay awake late into the night and don't even realize that I've fallen asleep until the sound of the alarm clock blares me back to reality.

I think about what was lost by bad decisions, but then I see the sun shining through the window and think that I'm still alive. And like Crow says, "it's good to be alive."

As long as you are alive, there's hope.